Jimmy Kimmel
the 2023 Golden Globes Jimmy Kimmel suffered an all-time low Tuesday evening, “And so they form of deserve it,” Jimmy Kimmel mentioned on the Wednesday present, after a 2021 Los Angeles Instances investigation discovered that the present’s organizing group, the Hollywood Overseas Press Affiliation, had no black members. .
After a yr away, the group now counts six black journalists as members. “Let’s put it this fashion: Home Republicans have 5 black members,” Kimmel mentioned. “So this is not precisely a visit. It is a small world now.”
Kimmel then turned to the GOP’s continued outrage over a Bunch of confidential paperwork It was discovered and returned by Biden’s workers in a non-public workplace on the College of Pennsylvania. “Cannot we tie a tablespoon to those paperwork like they do to a gasoline station lavatory key?” query. “We’re one Storage Wars episode away from discovering out who killed JFK.”
Biden’s workers is now looking “all over the place he might have left paperwork — his briefcase, his tablet organizer, underneath the arch on the 1904 World’s Honest,” Kimmel continued. “They may very well be anyplace. They may very well be in a birthday card he despatched his grandkids subsequent to a crisp $2 invoice. No person is aware of.”
He added, “Anytime paperwork are mishandled, paperwork should be taken severely.” That is one thing Republicans and Democrats imagine. Though Republicans have solely believed it since Monday.”
Stephen Colbert
within the late present, Stephen Colbert He mocked Fox Information host Sean Hannity for praising, in an interview with Home GOP members, “extra variety within the GOP.”
“Positive, simply have a look at the Republican rainbow of inclusion,” he mentioned of Hannity’s all-white crowd of Republican lawmakers. “Full spectrum…they’ve eggshells, vanilla, band-aid, band-aid with glasses, all the pieces.”
He subsequently yielded to newly elected New York Congressman George Santos, who “has a protracted historical past of spreading the reality—by by no means telling it.” Among the many many fabrications uncovered, a brand new criticism filed with the Federal Election Fee accuses Santos of pervasive mendacity about marketing campaign finance.
The criticism alleges that Santos loaned $705,000 of his personal cash to his marketing campaign, though 2020 information point out he solely had a $55,000 fortune. “Honest sufficient, however what about all his different names,” Colbert requested, as a result of till Santos ran for Congress, Santos used the aliases Anthony Zabrovsky and Anthony DeVolder. “He has a whole lot of pseudonyms, he needed to swear on two books of the Gospels and the Torah.”
Lengthy Island Republican officers held a press convention Wednesday morning calling for Santos to resign, and describing his marketing campaign as riddled with “deception, lies and fabrication.”
Santos mentioned that “to this unbelievable rebuke from his occasion,” he informed reporters on Capitol Hill that he wouldn’t resign — “which suggests he’ll resign.”
Seth Meyers
And late at evening, Seth Meyers We seemed ahead to how “turbulent the subsequent two years shall be with these in command of the Home” after Kevin McCarthy’s election as Speaker.
“The drama that unfolded final week was primarily an extension of the continuing struggle between institution Republicans and the Trump wing of the occasion,” he defined. Trump’s wing gained.
“After McCarthy lastly crawled over the end line on the fifteenth poll by caving in, and probably backing down, to the calls for of the Maga wing of his occasion, McCarthy publicly thanked Trump for his help.”
McCarthy informed reporters that folks mustn’t doubt Trump’s affect, as he made cellphone calls to safe the ultimate votes for McCarthy on the fifteenth poll and first winner as speaker.
“I truly imagine that, as a result of the one factor Donald Trump is sweet at is making cellphone calls,” Myers mentioned. Making calls is Trump’s solely ability. All he has to do is sit there in his pajamas in entrance of his TV and wander for an hour round bogs or windmills till the particular person on the opposite finish of the decision says superb, I am going to hand over, I am going to vote for Kevin, simply cease speaking about what number of instances it’s important to do away with him. “