Why do ‘SNL’ men live in such horrifying apartments?

Three comedians from SNL: Jimmy Fallon, Pete Davidson, Colin Jost, against the backdrop of buildings

Photo Illustration: Curb; Photos: Getty

Tuesday, New York Mail She reported that America’s favorite comedian, Colin Jost (we’re kidding), sold his West Village duplex for $2.5 million. Jost bought the place in 2011, six years after he joined Saturday Night Live As a writer, and the photos from the menu make the place look kind of… eh? Jost furnished his home like someone who doesn’t know what to do with his design budget. The main floor has a love seat awkwardly crammed into the corner and a sad little breakfast table obscuring the doors to Juliet’s balcony. The narrow kitchen cabinets are made in baffling yellow, the kind only found in the natural world of tropical frogs to signal, “Don’t eat me! I’m poisonous!” The “basic bedroom” has cool tiled floors, and the other bedroom has a very ugly bed facing the bathtub. . In the bedroom. at the foot of the bed. Most important of all is the small basement den, decorated only with a menacing floor lamp and a lone soccer ball signed onto the TV console. To my count, Jost’s house has two trees indoors, an old washboard that leans against a window, a magazine folder with no magazines, six coupes on the bar cart, and zero books. It’s no surprise that the place has no signs of human life – not that Ghost isn’t real boy But because he’s most likely spent the last few years smashing his wife, Scarlett Johansson. Just look at their fake, well-stocked suburban home in the Super Bowl ad they made for Amazon this year: who – whichHow do we expect a famous celebrity with a steady TV income to live and married to one of the highest paid actresses in the world.

Here lies at least one answer to the question we asked ourselves on Curbed: Why do men SNL Do you live in such horrifying apartments? It may be that, as in Jost’s case, they tend to date, somehow drawing stars outside the league into relationships: clip director Dave McCurry and Emma Stone, Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde, Dan Aykroyd and Carrie Fisher, and Pete. Davidson and…everyone. Time and time again, these guys have recreated the early sitcom dynamic of zhlub-y funny dude with a traditionally beautiful partner. If you’ve ever had a roommate whose floundering boyfriend was gone the whole time because his place was an unimaginable hell hole, husbands SNL Is that a big deal (and at much higher rents).

Davidson’s home has always been central to its tradition. For several years in his time in SNLAnd the He still lived with his mother – and not only that: he lived in the basement of his mother’s house. This was a test for Rorschach: you could look at it as a red flag or Davidson as a humble boy for a mother who is unaffected by fame. But during that time, he’s dated Cazzie David, Ariana Grande, Kate Beckinsale, and Margaret Qualley, all of whom, I suspect, had above-ground homes where he could stay, which allowed Davidson to leave his landfill untouched. (In fact, I think David may have still been living in the house, too. They were so good to each other.)

In December 2020, Davidson purchased a place of his own, a $1.2 million two-bedroom condo in Staten Island. was the place weirdly organized: Princess mauve tiered walls paired with a dining set made in a washed aquarium, a plump bedroom set in dark brown, and a modest Astroturf bar on the waterfront patio. By the time it was Put it up for sale in 2022, He had redecorated and painted it over purple, and had added a foosball table and – inevitably – a black leather sofa from the Sisters’ House. Again, the file SNL The boy was upgrading his living situation after he met an A-list partner: in this case, Kim K.

Foosball and the Couch hints at another answer to the questionable question SNL Dorm Men: These men live on a college student schedule. SNL The cast, writers, and producers work all night on Tuesdays and into the evenings for the rest of the week from October through May. The tight production schedule is organized into each episode so that the team lives in a perpetual state of jargon. Glimpses of their office space Routines give a sense that these people never leave spelling home, rather than bringing it with them downtown. Just as the bedroom has a built-in passer, so do the homes of these SNL men. Likewise, this rule-breaking mindset for the first apartment or tiny house, which pushes the boundaries of what a dwelling space should be, is reflected in some of their design choices.

It can also be seen in – and you should take a deep breath here – Jimmy Fallon’s old place.

In 2002, after four years of his work SNL Fallon purchased a unit in the Gramercy Park co-op for $850,000. simple enough? No. Over the next two decades, as his career moved SNL to me Tonight ShowFallon bought three more units on three floors of the building, tying them together like a madman in a true three-way Frankenstein’s monster. When Fallon listed the place for sale for $15 million in 2021, photos revealed Mr. Majorium’s Horrorium of meticulously planned weirdness. There was a carved-lined room centered on an antler chandelier befitting Gaston; A pantry lined with cowboy wallpaper, stocked with nearly 500 cans of Progresso soup, and a small door that seemed to be for baby waiters; A drawer runner looks as if someone skinned aliens symbol picture. These weren’t fancy touches. They were striking rams of freaks, a hand-crafted, eclectic approach to interior design that hints at the kind of psychological impact of Studio 8H, where every week dozens of sets are built from outer space to fake game shows and demolished.

Meanwhile, his home in the Hamptons has a slider where the stairs should be. Makes big Loft looks positively simple.

Beck Bennett showed his Los Angeles home on the May 2020 episode of SNL at home, When the cast members were preparing together sketches of their isolation capsules. The place is a mixture of cute and cool things that feel almost fresh Normal. The drawing is a parody of Architectural Digest Celebrity home tour: He has a fairly nice dining table (in a renovation hardware way), but it’s full of household junk, and a messy bookshelf looks like he’s seeing actual traffic. The moldings are nice but the curtains are cheap. A vomit brown tile fireplace is used to store assorted rubbish. He spent the last minute of the video only pointing out cracks in the walls. I live like this. You might live like this. But I don’t Half a million dollars annually.

clerk Julio Torres, who recently exited the show, is the exception that proves the rule. Torres’ work, including SNL sketches like “Papyrus” And the “sink. . . is interested in the comedic possibilities of aesthetics and design. His mother is an architect and fashion designer, his sister is a designer, and Torres collaborates with them and his artist friends on custom pieces for him. apartment And the DeskA preference for non-traditional shapes and basic colors. It takes unique levels of possessiveness and intellect to overcome the Curse of the Straight Torres SNL counterparts and their sad spaces. But to the rest of these guys SNL, we say, Damn, bitch, you live like this?